Friday, October 18, 2013

Why I Stay in Utah


I live in Utah. I've lived in Utah for a while now. When I first moved here I was an active member of the Mormon church, but now I'm not. I have friends who continually ask me why I still live here since I'm no longer Mormon. I read reviews of my book where strangers ask the same question. People email me and ask me directly why I stick around Mormon Mecca. Some fucking morons have the balls to call me "stupid" because I live in Utah.

Gee, I'm so glad Mormons aren't the only narrow-minded assholes in the world. Sadly, some of the most closed-minded, bigoted and nastiest people I've met recently are ex-Mormons. That doesn't mean that I think the church is good because these people turn into pigs once they leave the organization. Instead, I think the Mormon church slaps a suit and tie on a pig, but it's still a pig.


In any case, back to what I was saying. People want to know why I still live in Utah, the center of the Mormon universe. My answer isn't simple and it is full of my opinions. If you have a problem with strong opinions, first of all get your panties out of your rectum, then go get a spine so you can realize my opinions don't weaken your convictions. You've been warned.

First off, my family heritage is here in Utah. Sure, I grew up in a different state, but my relatives, ancestors, etc. were from here, so I have a connection to here. I've also set roots down here, I have kids and I don't think it's cool to just tear that up so I can try to insulate myself from the Mormon church. I know some people move from here to keep their kids from the church's influence, and I can see why. I hear from stupid-ass Mormons on a regular basis as they whine "why do you live here if you don't like Mormons? How about you just leave?" To those asswipes, I ask, "Why the fuck don't you leave?" It's just as legitimate of a question, because last I checked this was not Nazi Germany (despite the efforts of the Tea Party).

Second of all, there are worse places to live. I know because I've live in worse places. There's actually a lot of culture here, but most of that is not tied to the Mormon church. I'm not talking about just bars and stuff like that, but there is also an excellent symphony, ballet company, museums, art galleries, etc. here. There's also a lot of outdoor things to do like skiing, hiking, and the like. In some parts of the country everything is as flat as a pancake and you have to "hike" in farmland among cow shit. No fun.


Another reason I stay in Utah is to stick it to the Mormons who really want to just take over the state. The percentage of Utah that is Mormon keeps dropping as more and more people who aren't Mormon realize there are some great reasons to live here. Rather than tuck tail and run to somewhere else, I'm standing and fighting. I'm sticking it to the Mormon church up close and personal. I can do more here on the ground than from far away. So I'm fighting the power and sticking it to the man in the state, which is actually kind of fun. I'm like a mix of Batman, a masked crusader that is fighting against the injustices done in the state of Utah and Eminem who says things that piss people off but really get them thinking about things they otherwise would've just taken for granted.


One big reason to live in Utah: on Sundays I can go to the movies and not have to deal with a bunch of people with crazy, rude kids. I can go to restaurants and I don't have to deal with rude asses that act like they own the joint. I can walk around Target with my Starbucks on Sundays and not receive any dirty looks or have anyone shove past me as they mutter about my coffee and me going to hell. I go to stores here on Sundays and people are really pleasant. I have to admit, where I have lived before it wasn't like this on Sundays. Of course sometimes I'll be sitting in a restaurant or be in a store on a Sunday when a bunch of people who obviously just got out of their Mormon church services come pouring in. They're rude, obnoxious and often they look nervous like someone is going to recognize them.

Perhaps the biggest reason I still live in Utah is that my husband has a job here. He's tried to get a better job  elsewhere, but it always seems to not work out. The one time it did his job in another state was hellish, to say the least. We live in the northeast portion of Salt Lake County, which is the best area on the Wasatch Front to not be Mormon or to be an ex-Mormon. Living here makes being in Utah not that bad since this area is not flooded with Mormons and mindless conservatives. 

So that, in a nutshell, is why I still live in Utah. If you don't like it, that's fine. If you want to call me an idiot for staying here, fuck you. Don't enjoy what I'm doing here as I wage my Mormon Rebellion right in the Mormon Heartland and on the other hand criticize me for staying where you don't want to live. I'm a big girl and I can make my own decisions and live with them. Now if you want to help with the rebellion, I say welcome and let's get to work!

4 comments:

  1. If you are wanting to fight evil, you don't run from it! Good for you girl!

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  2. have you ever thought of yourself as a mindless liberal? I think your bitterness towards the mormons has made you mindless.

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    1. AAAA - nice name. If I were mindless I wouldn't think, now would I? Rather than debate me on any points I make, you resort to silly name calling. Go back to your mindless talk radio and leave the thinking to the big people of the world, thank you!

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